Mothers

Last week was Mother’s Day and I’m honored to have three mothers in my life. My biological mom, my mom-in-love and the mother of my children each touch my life in different ways. I realize not everyone has that. I am also blessed to attend a church full of spiritual moms that have spoken into my life.
It is an interesting process of a woman becoming a mother. The glowing look on a woman’s face when she finds out she’s pregnant that carries through until the grimace of delivery. Then she holds the baby in her arms and the glow returns. Some are mothers by accident, some because of choice, and others because of many hard choices to never give up. My wife seems to fit all of those.
To say our first was an accident is not quite accurate, more of a surprise. We were told it would take longer to get pregnant. I remember thinking she had turned into the most picky eater. Then she seemed to have the flu. It never seemed to occur to us that what we had been trying for had already happened. Kind of like praying for the sick and being surprised they are healed. I found my wife took to being a mother as soon as she was pregnant. I can imagine this had to do with the constant kicking as a reminder. For me, it was when our first-born was delivered. The world seemed to come to a stop as this little girl came forth. The doctor handed me a set of scissors. I remember at first being almost confused, I had forgotten what they were for. Then they placed this little girl in my arms and the world stopped.
Our second was a choice, sadly we never did get to experience little Hannah’s smile. The angel’s currently have that joy. I will never forget the moment, sitting in the mid-wife’s office, watching as they struggled to find a heartbeat. The world stood still yet again. This time there were no little eyes to look into mine. There is not a Mother’s or Father’s day that we don’t think of the ones we didn’t get to hold in our arms and see them look deep into our eyes. It has created a mixed set of emotions for these otherwise celebratory days. You are thankful for what you have, but deep inside there is still a tinge of disappointment.
Then there was the day we sat in the doctor’s office waiting to hear the results from tests that would tell us why, after years of trying, nothing was happening this time. The world seemed to again slow to a stop as he declared that my wife’s womb was basically sealed and we should consider surrogacy. Talking to my wife after the appointment, we discussed if this was something we would be willing to fight for. We discussed the dreams, visions and promises that we had. Even if I was determined to try, it was her body that had to face possibly several surgeries and recoveries, all for just a chance to try to be a mother again. She had my support, whatever she chose, and she was determined to meet the child God had promised us was to come. She was willing to do whatever it took to do her part to see this miracle through. So after two surgeries, much to the doctor’s amazement, her uterus became a hospitable place for a child. Five months ago my wife become a mother again. It has been a hard fought journey, with many ups and downs. It’s never easy to find out that you’re becoming a mother again, in the middle of miscarrying their twin. And yet through it all my wife’s faith has been strong. She has shown that she is a mother who’s willing to fight for her children and we have a little one’s laughter filling our home now as evidence.
So happy belated Mother’s Day to those mothers with children around them, those with children in the spirit, those with children that already entered eternity, and those with children still locked in your dreams. Mother’s are treasures of great worth and are worthy of great honor.

And so it begins

Growing up I never thought of myself as a writer. In fact, I hated anything to do with writing. English was certainly that school subject I could have done without. English never was logical enough for me. Why make a rule only to break it dozens of … [Continue reading]